Flee from them

If you have a gambling problem, then don’t go to Las Vegas even if the best show in the world is playing on the strip.

If you can’t say no to that last drink, then stay away from bars.

If you are addicted to nicotine, then don’t hang out in the smoking lounge.

If you are trying to kick caffeine, then stay away from coffee shops.

If you are addicted to the endorphin kick from social media, then delete the apps like Facebook or Instagram that suck you in. Turn off push notifications and opt out of the email. There are brilliant people at these companies whose sole job, compensation and bonuses are centered on getting you to spend more time scrolling through the feed. Sadly a lot of them could be applying that same expertise to nobler causes, but money talks and principles walk out the door.

If there are people you follow on Twitter who spew negativity, hate, and decisiveness and in the process make you feel pretty shitty then unfollow them.

Don’t try to control these vices; you need to flee from them. Keep away from the hooks, and you won’t get sucked in. Addictive vices are seductive, so to counter the gravitational pull you have to engineer your life and habits to avoid them. Associate with people that reinforce good habits and keep you on track. Sometimes the best way to beat something is to run away.

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

When the going gets tough

Take one day at a time. The sun always comes up the next day.

You can only connect the dots looking backward. There will be time for retrospectives later. Now is the time for action.

Over-communicate, don’t bottle it up. Sometimes verbalizing a fear is like slaying the imaginary dragon. Other people will also give you perspective and shared experiences.

Ask yourself how you will feel about this two years from now. It’ll put things in perspective.

Separate what’s out of your control but don’t ignore it.

Worry and stress about things that are certain. Don’t spend energy on worrying.

Ask for help and share the load. Family, friends, co-workers will surprise you.

Stick to your principles and maintain integrity. People will know, and more importantly, you’ll know that when the pressure was on, you dared to be true to yourself.

Take a few deep breaths and check out for a bit. Try to get some sleep and exercise. Sleep and exercise compounds and is a magic stress reliever.

Stay off the coffee and booze.

Keep moving forward and don’t put your head in the sand.

It could be worse.

Seven habits of highly productive giving

Here’s a useful HBR piece co-authored by Adam Grant and Reb Rebele on how to beat generosity burnout. The theme throughout the article is that you need to be a warrior advocate for yourself if you are going to sustainably share your time, energy and experience.

I grabbed these 7 points from the article on how to be a productive giver.

7 Habits of Highly Productive Giving
  1. Prioritize the help requests that come your way — say yes when it matters most and no when you need to.
  2. Give in ways that play to your interests and strengths to preserve your energy and provide greater value.
  3. Distribute the giving load more evenly — refer requests to others when you don’t have the time or skills, and be careful not to reinforce gender biases about who helps and how.
  4. Secure your oxygen mask first — you’ll help others more effectively if you don’t neglect your own needs.
  5. Amplify your impact by looking for ways to help multiple people with a single act of generosity.
  6. Chunk your giving into dedicated days or blocks of time rather than sprinkling it throughout the week. You’ll be more effective — and more focused.
  7. Learn to spot takers, and steer clear of them. They’re a drain on your energy, not to mention a performance hazard.

Enjoy the article.

Turn up

Sometimes in life, you gotta turn up. By turn up, I don’t mean sending thoughts and prayers, flowers or money. I mean physically turn up and be there. Sometimes it’s to celebrate or grieve, sometimes it’s pre-emptive, and sometimes it’s to volunteer. I saw a lot if this happening during the Sonoma fire relief and support. Nurses, doctors, firefighters, chefs, therapists all turned up and offered a hand to people who had lost everything. At one stage people were being turned away before there were too many people to help.

When in doubt – be there. Most of the time you’ll regret not going. But you’ll never regret being there.

Ten dinner cooking tips

Buy a nonstick saucepan. Replace it every year. It doesn’t have to be made of kryptonite or unobtainium. A new pan washes easily and makes cooking a pleasure. Throw out the old pan and rotate.

Wash the pan once it’s cooled down. Washing the pan when it’s hot will wear away the nonstick stuff.

Eat leftovers. They last longer than you think. Get tastier over time and make one meal into three

Use ghee over butter or oil. It doesn’t smoke like oil and adds flavor.

If you can lean, then you can clean

Vegetarian dishes are easier to clean up than meat dishes. The ingredients last longer in the fridge.

There’s nothing a fried egg or avocado won’t solve. Just plop it on t with a bit of salt and pepper. Same for heirloom tomatoes 🍅

Undercooking your meat is okay. Salmonella is a thing, but most meat should be on the rare side.

If you have the time, cook food on medium heat versus incinerating it on high. It’ll take longer, but it’ll be juicer and more flavorsome.

Eat early. It’ll give you more time to digest your food and you’ll sleep better.

The experience of right now

We only experience right now as Emily Dickinson explains below:

Forever — is composed of Nows
by Emily Dickinson

Forever — is composed of Nows —
‘Tis not a different time —
Except for Infiniteness —
And Latitude of Home —

From this — experienced Here —
Remove the Dates — to These —
Let Months dissolve in further Months —
And Years — exhale in Years —

Without Debate — or Pause —
Or Celebrated Days —
No different Our Years would be
From Anno Domini’s —