You can find me on Substack where I’m sharing daily thoughts.

https://open.substack.com/pub/markbartels?r=1a69d&utm_medium=ios

Some things in life defy the quick fixes of money, drugs, or AI:

1. Enduring Friendships: Bonds that endure time, distance, and life’s ups and downs can’t be fast-tracked.
2. Physical Fitness: Achieving and maintaining good health demands consistent effort and discipline. No shortcut replaces eating well and regular exercise.
3. Multi-generational Family Ties: Understanding and accepting your family, staying connected, and loving them despite their flaws requires patience and foresight.
4. Finding and Nurturing Love: Choosing a life partner and nurturing that relationship through life’s rollercoaster requires wisdom, dedication, and resilience.
5. Mastery: Whether learning a musical instrument, a new language, or perfecting an art, real mastery requires time, practice, and persistence.
6. Grieving and Healing: Grieving a loss or recovering from a traumatic event is personal, and sometimes, there’s no destination; it’s the journey you will be on for the rest of your life.

Each demands something technology or wealth can’t provide – love, commitment, persistence, and a willingness to make sacrifices.

Sometimes, I daydream about getting the band back together—that dream team of exceptional people I’ve met in my tech career. But I’m met with the same revelation whenever I do some sleuthing: they’re already knee-deep in something new and amazing. 

They’re not the type to sit on their hands, waiting for someone to throw them a bone. Instead, they’re out there making it happen. They’ve either been quickly snapped up by someone who recognizes the value of their currency (and isn’t afraid to show it and moves quickly), or they’ve taken the leap, pouring their talents into their ventures, such as startups, families, building a community, or travel. 

It’s clear as day: the cream always rises to the top, and these folks are no exception.

Just as the ocean hides its most precious gems and the desert blooms flowers that never see admiration, perhaps the quiet, contented lives around us hold a wealth of wisdom and serenity that goes unnoticed. Satisfaction and fulfillment don’t always come from change or the relentless pursuit of things. Sometimes, the most profound lessons and happiness lie in the peace of the familiar, the joy of the small things, and the comfort of stability.

In Gray’s ‘Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard, ‘ he writes, ‘Full many a gem of purest ray serene, The dark unfathom’d caves of ocean bear: Full many a flow’r is born to blush unseen, And waste its sweetness on the desert air.’ Gray understood that there’s immeasurable value and beauty in the unobserved, in the lives lived away from the spotlight.

Encountering new experiences is as inevitable as it is valuable. However, how we respond to these experiences often speaks volumes about our maturity, curiosity, and self-awareness. A common pitfall is the rush to publicize and proclaim these experiences as groundbreaking or unique.

Imagine this: You encounter a challenge or situation for the first time—parenthood, a new town, traveling, work experience. It feels monumental, almost like a revelation. Your first impulse is to broadcast this newfound insight across social media, blogs, or Slack. Armed with the fresh perspective you believe you’ve just unearthed, you’re eager to pen down a guide on how to navigate these waters. You need to spread the good word! Why hasn’t anyone else seen this before?

However, here’s a crucial pause point that’s often missed in the haste to ‘announce’ and ‘educate’ others: the realization that your experience, though new to you, might not be as unprecedented as it seems. This isn’t to diminish the value of your journey or the sincerity of your desire to share and help others. Rather, it’s about recognizing a fundamental truth in human experience — most paths have been tread before, and there’s immense wisdom already available, often just a humble inquiry away.

The failure to acknowledge reflects a lack of experience but can also be a subtle indicator of a lack of curiosity and, perhaps, a touch of narcissism. True curiosity drives us to explore the breadth of our own experiences and the depth of others’. It encourages us to listen, learn, and understand that our individual experiences, while unique in their personal impact, are often universal and timeless. It’s humbling when you realize you are probably standing on the shoulders of giants.

This is not a call to silence your voice or to devalue your experiences. On the contrary, it’s an encouragement to deepen your perspective by integrating it with the collective wisdom and tribal knowledge that precedes you. It’s about recognizing that being a part of this vast tapestry of shared human experience doesn’t make your journey any less significant. Instead, it allows you to navigate with a richer, more informed perspective and, perhaps, a greater sense of humility and connection to those around you.

As we all navigate the complexities of life and work, let’s strive to balance the excitement of sharing our journeys with the wisdom to acknowledge and learn from the vast reservoir of experiences that surround us. After all, life is not just about forging new paths but also about appreciating and learning from the trails laid before us.

In the verses of ‘Invictus,’ penned by William Ernest Henley in 1875, we tune in to a resonant ode to resilience amid life’s darkest moments. We all know those, “4am moments”., when worry wrestles us awake, and the world holds its breath in stillness. It’s in these dark pre-dawn silences, when even the birds are yet to sing, that Henley’s words find their most poignant echo.

This poem stands as a lighthouse of perseverance, grit, and indomitable self-determination. The enduring relevance of ‘Invictus’ underscores the timelessness of its themes. The poem’s final verse is a guiding light offering hope and fortitude. It stands as a tribute to the human spirit of one foot in front of the other when it’s darkest before the dawn.

* * * * *

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

Asking questions, being curious, and exchanging ideas are the best ways to ideate and create. Things aren’t created in a vacuum. They are molded, pinched, pushed, pressed, and baked when discussed and deployed into the world.

The longer you don’t exercise, the easier it is to skip another day and get lulled into a new low-key mood. Once you break the pattern and take a walk, surf, sauna, or swim, it’s like a reawakening in your body and jolts you. It’s so obvious that you need to move your body. It’s the same with ideas – it’s a lonely path to create alone. Join a club, go to the office if you have one, visit friends and family – discuss things and try out ideas. It’s mental floss for your brain. 

Don’t hang out too long with people who belong to the RememberWhen Tribe. It’s fun to look back and reminisce, but don’t live there or you’ll get stuck and finally start telling your own made up tribal stories.

A Russian saying on nostalgia: “The past is more unpredictable than the future.”

“Films, football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.” 1984 George Orwell

Sounds like 2024 if you swap out gambling with social media and “Breaking News”

Young, dumb and lots of ego: You make a decision but then things go wrong. Maybe it’s bad luck, maybe you missed something upfront, maybe someone lied. So you double down and throw more good money and precious time at the problem. You never recoup your losses but you bang your chest and tell yourself that you won’t quit while obsessing over getting back to break even.

Older, wiser and aware of your ego: You make a decision but then things go wrong. Maybe it’s bad luck, maybe you missed something upfront, maybe someone lied. What do you do? You reset your expectations. At the time of the initial decision it was sound but new information has since surfaced. You reset and reassess. It’s time to cut your losses and walk. A loss of time and money is like paying for an education. It’s not a penalty. You keep looking forward because life isn’t a zero sum game.