Family and Friends

Tough messy oak trees

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Oak trees in the wild are messy things. Before I knew this I thought that oaks were these lone wolf sculpted trees with long clean trunks and a large canopy of round green foliage…kind of like the ones you see on a fancy wine bottle label. In reality a wild oak tree’s branches hang low and rest on the ground, sprawled out like a giant octopus. From a distance it looks like a big untidy bush and bramble. It’s all over the place. What I’ve since learned is that those tentacle like branches act as anchors for the tree and stabilize it in storms and heavy winds. That messy support structure is the reason it’s still standing and means it’s healthy. The human pruned, lone oak trees in the middle of a green field may look beautiful and statuesque, but they have a much high failure rate because they lack the stabilizing octopus support network.

It’s the same for humans. We are more resilient and stronger with a messy support network. Together we are stronger. Put down roots, build a community, lean on people, be vulnerable even if it’s messy. It’ll sustain you in the long run and it’s healthy.

Work with clever and kind people

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Work with clever people who are kind. Look for them, stay close to them, and learn from them.

Be weary of clever people who are unkind. Keep your distance and handle with caution.

Clever and kind people nurture and grow powerful communities of trusted friends who in turn connect and amplify those connections. Be part of that community. It’s powered by kindness and it’s evergreen.

Small things in a great way

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Want to be an agent of change? Frustrated about what you can do to help?

Get proximate, go deep and start small. Stop trying solve problems from a distance. Work through the details. The devil is in the detail. The more you understand, the more compassion you will have.

By getting proximate I mean start with your own community, friends and family. Tweeting and posting to social media creates an illusion of action. Being physically proximate is greater than being digitally proximate. Being proximate fuels compassion.

When making any decision start with compassion and love. When carrying out the decision, do it with compassion and love.

Small changes and small interactions add up over time.

“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way”

Martin Luther King

Day Dreaming 

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In Praise of Dreams

In my dreams
I paint like Vermeer van Delft.

I speak fluent Greek
and not just with the living.

I drive a car
that does what I want it to.

I am gifted
and write mighty epics.

I hear voices
as clearly as any venerable saint.

My brilliance as a pianist
would stun you.

I fly the way we ought to,
i.e., on my own.

Falling from the roof,
I tumble gently to the grass.

I’ve got no problem
breathing under water.

I can’t complain:
I’ve been able to locate Atlantis.

It’s gratifying that I can always
wake up before dying.

As soon as war breaks out,
I roll over on my other side.

I’m a child of my age,
but I don’t have to be.

A few years ago
I saw two suns.

And the night before last a penguin,
clear as day.

Wislawa Szymborska, View with a Grain of Sand

Guides

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When I go for a hike in new territory I take a map or consult a guide. When I’m driving to a new location I pull out my phone and turn on navigation. It makes no sense to get in the car and start driving before I have directions.

When it comes to a spiritual journey most people do the opposite. Maybe they read a book, watch a film or speak to someone who inspires them. They make a decision to investigate and explore which is awesome, but they forget to pick a guide.

If you’ve woken up and are searching for answers, the first step is realizing that having a guide will keep you on track when you lose your way. This path has already been trodden by poets and mystics – take someone’s hand and follow. If you reach out, someone will hold your hand.

Be in touch

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Staying in touch is different than friending, following or subscribing to someone on a social network. Facebook is a community of digital contacts and it’s an awesome vehicle to communicate, but don’t confuse digital connections and digital browsing with seeing someone in the flesh. I know there’s a diaspora of people across the world and that’s what makes social networks so great, but I’m talking about being physically proximate with your community, neighbors and friends.

If you stopped using Facebook tomorrow, how many people would notice? I mean really notice. How many people would be knocking on your door, walking around to the back door, peering in a window or phoning to check in? Compare that to the reaction from friends, family and co-workers who are in physical contact with on a regular basis. I’m talking about a morning run together, popping in for tea, walk and talks at lunch time, kid’s play dates, weekend coffee meetups…that’s what “being in touch” means. It’s not scrolling down a digital news feed and flicking through photos for a quickie endorphin hit.

Networks like Facebook and Twitter are a means to communicate and organize. Check out the Women’s Marches that were organized across the country…and it all started with a small group on Facebook. What’s even more awesome is that the Facebook group manifested into a physical march for millions of people. What gave it power was the physical manifestation. Physical contact nurtures the soul and makes the connection real.

Be proximate with your community and be in touch. It’s good for the community and it’s good for you.

p.s. thanks to Stephen Bartels for inspiring this post and Lindsay Bartels for the edits

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Make the call

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Think about an old friend. Someone you’ve known for most of your life. Commit to speaking to them today or writing them a note. 

The day you forget where you came from, you won’t belong where you are.

 

Activate Low Power Mode

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The iPhone now has a low power mode setting. Switch it on and you disable your phone’s most higher energy features. It switches Mail from push to fetch, turns off automatic downloads and disables background app refreshes. In low power mode you get to choose where and when you expend your phone’s battery energy. It’s an underrated feature and I use it all the time, even when my battery is fully charged. Instead of calling it Low Power Mode, I call it Low Energy Suck Mode

Do the same thing with your mind and body. Activate Low Energy Suck Mode today. In this mode, you decide where and when to spend your time and energy. It turns off those coffee meet ups you should say no to and says no to people who guilt and manipulate you into giving up precious time with family and friends. Low Energy Suck Mode preserves your energy so you can decide when you choose to direct energy at someone or something. Your energy is sacred and you need protect it. When focused and at full power it’s loving and wonderful.

Activity Low Energy Suck Mode today. You’ll have more energy at the end of the day and less drag from things you don’t need.

Don’t Skip The Rituals

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Rituals and healthy routines like exercise, stretching, conscious breathing, yoga and healthy eating are easy to keep when you aren’t busy. The real test kicks in when you get busy and get pulled in five directions. Maybe it’s work stuff like 10 unread emails on your phone, or rain during the morning commute or an important meeting and presentation.

The busier you get the more discipline is required to stick to your rituals and routines because they will help you manage the daily grind and stop the stress from accumulating. It’s crazy how many people sacrifice themselves and let work take precedent. What ends up happening is that both work quality and the person suffer. If you are more grounded, fit and rested then you will execute better. It’s easy to forget.

Slow down, breath, smile and look after yourself. You have more time than you think. Don’t skip the rituals.2013-01-21 11.17.59

The freedom to choose

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There are so many gems in this Viktor Krankl interview. My father reminded me of it today and it’s worth the 30 minutes if you are looking learn more about about meaning & purpose. It’s a simple message:

He talks about how people react to unchangeable events. When these events are out of our control, it’s how we choose to react determines our happiness.

Don’t forget, you have the freedom to choose how you react to everything and everyone you encounter each day.

Isn’t that great?

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