“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side.
Or you don’t.”Stephen King, The Stand
Travel
Au Revoir
“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” ― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
See nature where you are
Nature is everywhere. A sidewalk tree, leaves underfoot, moss in the cracks, flocks of pigeons, solitary hawks and noisy seagulls.
Feel the wind on your face. Open up your senses to it and you’ll realize that nature is all around you.
Mental travel
Need to think through a life event decision? Travel to a new place. Break the daily rituals and well worn paths of every day. Let the decision go, don’t mull over it. Don’t worry…it won’t go far. The newness and discovery of travel will keep your mind and body occupied with new smells, sounds, tastes, and sights. When you get back, invite the decision into your mind again. I think the answer may be waiting for you at home right where you started all along.
Going out, is going in
‘I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.’ – John Muir
Looking and Learning
Traveling keeps me sharp, on my toes and exercises my curiosity muscle. My eyes are wide open, always looking and learning. Where’s the ferry? Where’s the train? How do I buy tickets? Where do I stand? Am I going in the correct direction? What’s the weather like this evening? Where can I swim? Where do I eat? How much does that cost? What’s that accent? Friend or foe?
Travel also makes me grateful for the every day well worn rituals of home. After the intense stimulation of the unknown, returning home is like laying on my back in Savasana and breathing in the moment.
Happiness is an Horizon
People build happiness destinations for themselves like ‘when I have a enough money then I’ll be happy, ‘when I meet the right person then I’ll be happy’, ‘when I’m living in a new city then I’ll be happy’ – you know the drill. The construct is that happiness is achieved when certain milestones are hit. The problem is that happiness is like an horizon, it keeps moving away as you move towards it.
John Lennon said that life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
Now think about Joy. Joy is something you experience when you are true to yourself in work, love and life. Joy is sipping fresh coffee with a friend, walking the dog early in the morning, building something, doing a good job for someone, hugging your kid, reading Twitter, drinking a glass of wine after a long day. Maybe you picked up a pattern there…joy is a state of mind. Joy is to be present and living in the moment.
Forget about happiness horizons and enJOY the journey now.
Family holidays – Priceless moments
I’m off to my brother’s wedding in a couple of weeks. It will be the first time my immediate family has been together since 2006. Getting together these days can get a bit pricey and off course means taking time off from the daily gig, but I never hesitate. Thinking about this made me reflect on our priceless family trips over the years.
A road trip in my family included piling four young kids and two parents into a Volkswagen microbus, and trekking off across the country. Sometimes it was a 2000-mile round trip to a National Park or a maybe it was a 100okm trip to Cape Town and back to pick up a new puppy. This was before the days of AirBnB or VRBO, so my folks would organize pit stops and accommodation along the way. Sometimes these stops were at family friends and sometimes they were in roadside hotels. Normally it was one room with all of us piled in, and sometimes it was two rooms with my sister and parents in one, and brothers and me in the other. If we were in the bush and I was sharing with my brothers then I’d go sleep with them telling me the hyenas had broken through the fence and I would be eaten first.
Most stops along the way involved unpacking the car, taking family pictures with my dad’s beloved Nikon and exploring our new accommodations. It was exciting winding down a dirt road towards a small dark farmhouse or checking into a hotel at 9pm at night. As a kid I had no concept of time or space other than the road ahead, dinner (probably sweet corn on toast) and which bed I’d be sleeping in that night. Picking beds with older brothers involved my mother’s intervention once the younger brother (me) was told his bed was the mattress on the floor next to the door.
A highlight on these road trips was sitting up front with my dad in the passenger driver seat, wearing the seatbelt while studiously paging through a well used road atlas. My father had a rule – you had to be a certain height before you could sit up front so that the seat belt would cross your chest and not your neck when you were sitting upright.
A couple of times the car would overheat and we’d limp into a small Karoo town garage in the middle of nowhere. Remember this was before cell phones, so if we broke down on the road then we flagged someone down for help. A roadside stop for us would mean target practice with my older brothers, by throwing stones at anything that looked like a target, irritating my little sister or just waiting around watching cars go by. I never doubted for a second it was a permanent breakdown…sooner or later we piled back into the car and moved on to the next adventure. Only now do I appreciate how my parents must have stressed about getting the car fixed, the delayed schedule, keeping us fed and occupied…remember no cell phone to contact the hosts awaiting your arrival.
As a family we still laugh about these trips. Whether it was Yosemite when we got lost in back country trying to find the Hetch Hetchy valley or finding a cockroach in a bowl of soup in a small back country hotel in Pilgrems Rest. Most of the time it was the unplanned events along the way that keep us laughing.
I remember a return trip from a National Park and setting up “camp” in a small town in the middle of nowhere. We were all piled into one room and it was so cold we all put multiple layers of clothes on and slept next to each other to warm up. I don’t know what my parents were thinking but I was having the time of my life…it was so exciting. We were freezing cold but everyone was laughing and trying to keep warm. My mom told me later they woke us up at 4am and left because the car was warmer. We were all still wearing 3 or 4 layers of clothing and headed to the gas station to fill up with petrol. At the pump next to us there was a farmer filling up his truck…and he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. We still talk about that cold morning and laugh about the “farmer at the gas station”.
These memories are the glue that binds my family together. It’s the small moments we still laugh about years later.
Looking back I think my parents were probably a little nuts and naive to pile 4 kids into a microbus and drive across the country, but I’m glad they were and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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