Being powerless will change people. Some for good and some for the bad.

Have you waited in an immigration line and hoped that the border agent is having a good day? In the back of your head, you know that the man in the blue uniform behind the plexiglass has the power to let you in or keep you out of your adopted home.

Have you stood by helplessly at 1am in the morning as doctors and nurses push past you because your wife’s placenta is detaching and your unborn son’s heartbeat is getting erratic?

Have you dressed up in blue scrubs looking like someone from Grey’s Anatomy while waiting outside the operating theater that has a family member inside and watched doctors come and go, but nobody lets you in or tells you what’s going on?

Have you sat in a small room with no windows while a nurse blandly delivers a life-changing diagnosis?

Have you visited a country where people don’t look like you, and you can’t speak their language? Where there’s a lag on everything as you wait for someone to translate what’s going on?

Unfortunately for some, the pain and humiliation of powerlessness is so bad that they become the very thing they fear. Once they find the power, they abuse it and inflict their pain and embarrassment on others.

For others, it opens their eyes to injustices and pain in the world. It builds compassion and empathy.

Powerlessness magnifies your character. Will it amplify the bad or the good?

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I’ve had a lot of conversations with people who insist to me things are going to be fine or tell me that whatever I’m worried about is an overreaction or overzealous paranoia. I’ve heard this reaction when people talk about a medical diagnosis, financial worries, or relationship problems. Right now I hear it when we talk about the bush fires, climate change or COVID-19 coronavirus

I remind myself that a lot of the time, they are telling me what they are telling themselves. Often the truth is too scary and sad to acknowledge. It means they will have have to take action or make a move out of their comfort zones.

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In Western Anglo Saxon culture, old people get shipped off to old age homes and care facilities. Multi-generational living a not the done thing. In other cultures, multi-generational living is expected and celebrated.

I’ve written about this before, but three or four-generation families under one roof are seen as a blessing. Family knowledge, heirlooms, and folklore are passed down and kept alive. The grandkids keep the grandparents young and useful. Young at heart grandparents are also excellent baby sitters and companions.

A quick google search surfaced a couple of stats. ~80% of Americans would prefer to die at home. Despite this, 60% of Americans die in acute care hospitals, 20% in nursing homes and only 20% at home

I’ve been reading the sad and disturbing news about how the COVID-19 coronavirus is running rampant through old age homes. There’s nowhere for these old people to run, and they are sitting ducks if one person contracts the virus. They would be a lot safer in family homes surrounded by younger and healthier family members who can help stay out of harm’s way and monitor them closely.

I hope we recognize and appreciate families who look after their aging parents in the same way that we look after young people, Just like there are benefits like free government schools for kids, maybe we should change the tax system and design support systems to reward families who offer full-time home care to their aging parents.

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I remember my first earthquake. I was on the 30th floor of a San Francisco highrise. I was working late, and when the shaking started and walls creaked, I thought it was a night shift cleaners vacuuming and cleaning the office next door to me. When it didn’t stop and watched my desk shaking, I started to panic. I have a pre-earthquake life and a post-earthquake life. In my pre-earthquake world, the earth didn’t move under my feet, and a stable foundation was a sure thing. In my post-earthquake world, the earth moves, and I know that it can all come down. In the Bay Area, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. I’d read about the 1906 quake and the Loma Prieta 1989 quake, but I only accepted it could happen to me until I felt the earth move.

Pre 2008, I believed that if I saved money every month, ran the models, and played by the rules, then healthy retirement was guaranteed. In 2008 Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, and the normal rules didn’t apply anymore. People’s 401ks were depleted and the setback years. I’d read about significant pullbacks in the markets, but I only accepted it could happen to me when I watched by 401k get slashed by the 2009 recession.

We treat pandemics, extreme weather events, bush fires, and climate change the same way. Most people only move away from below sea level places or flee from hot fire zones once they nearly lose their homes during a flood or fire.

I’ll make this mistake again, but I’m also aware enough to look back and not repeat the same flawed thinking. Just because it hasn’t happened to me doesn’t mean I’m immune to it.

1. History repeats itself
2. Things are cyclical
3. Listen to the experts and then think for yourself
4. Trust your gut and take action
5. The sentiment of the crowd is a lagging indicator. By the time the masses know it’s too late.
6. Don’t panic, prepare

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I read this on Bloomberg and have shares the highlights here. Good job everyone!

• We are living longer
• We are healthier
• Child mortality is down
• Poverty is decreasing
• Literacy is increasing
• We’re killing each other less
• In 2017, 96.1% of the population survived their first five years, compared to 56.7% in 1800
• Our body temperatures are dropping due to a steady decrease in inflammation. In short, we’re getting healthier – and living longer

We’ve got real problems to solve out there like global warming, killer viruses, heart disease, texting & driving, and saving the koalas. But it’s also good to remember the wins.

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