Tough messy oak trees

Oak trees in the wild are messy things. Before I knew this I thought that oaks were these lone wolf sculpted trees with long clean trunks and a large canopy of round green foliage…kind of like the ones you see on a fancy wine bottle label. In reality a wild oak tree’s branches hang low and rest on the ground, sprawled out like a giant octopus. From a distance it looks like a big untidy bush and bramble. It’s all over the place. What I’ve since learned is that those tentacle like branches act as anchors for the tree and stabilize it in storms and heavy winds. That messy support structure is the reason it’s still standing and means it’s healthy. The human pruned, lone oak trees in the middle of a green field may look beautiful and statuesque, but they have a much high failure rate because they lack the stabilizing octopus support network.

It’s the same for humans. We are more resilient and stronger with a messy support network. Together we are stronger. Put down roots, build a community, lean on people, be vulnerable even if it’s messy. It’ll sustain you in the long run and it’s healthy.

Risk is a muscle 

The more you exercise the risk muscle, the more comfortable you get with the feeling of risk. It’s about being okay with the unknown and still operating day to day. Every day you operate with risk is one more day you become accustomed to the new normal.

Risk is the feeling in the pit of your stomach when there’s uncertainty and a future unknown. Mastering risk is the ability to keep moving forward even though you have a knot in your stomach. Some people get that feeling and freeze. They slowly back away the tip of the diving board and climb down the ladder. Others feel their gut twist, swallow, inhale and take the plunge anyway.  Every time the jump gets easier, and the gut twist gets less paralyzing.

The most successful people I know have a high level of output AND are comfortable living with risk everyday.

Go with your gut

Don’t over intellectualize decisions. If your values and goals are aligned with your actions then it’ll feel right. It sounds simple, because it is simple.

When you have alignment you don’t spend energy rationalizing or justifying decisions. Your joy and energy levels increase and you gain momentum towards your goals. Drop the hand brake, pull up the anchor, lift up your feet and enjoy the flow.

Fit to make a Decision

As we enter the first days of Spring, there’s an urge to make big decisions about the upcoming season. It’s anything from career, family, finances and personal growth. Before we make a big decision, we get physically and mentally fit.

When we are fit we have less stress and are more present. Our muscles and brain are oxygenated and we think more clearly. Worries and fears are less magnified and we have a good sense of what is real vs. imaginary (most of it’s imaginary, by the way).

Going for a walk, meditating, taking deep diaphragm inhales and exhales…as well as toe breathing, where we feel the inhalations inflate our toes – are fun exercises we enjoy to breath more deeply.

When fit, we find decisions emerge from a more grounded and present place.

Extend and Open Up

Here’s a quick morning stretching exercise. Actually you can do it anywhere, while waiting for a bus, standing in line for lunch or cooking over the stove.

Stand up straight and imagine a string attached to the top of your head. The string slowly tightens and lifts up your head and extends your neck. You are getting taller and taller as your neck and spine extend. Keep your eyes level and shoulders and jaw relaxed.

At the same time plant your feet firmly on the ground and apply pressure to your heels rooting them to the floor. Wriggle your toes and feel the ground.

You now have your head and neck extending like an ostrich and are anchored to the ground like an oak tree.

As you grow taller, every joint opens up from your knees, hips, spine, chest and neck.

Take 3 deep inhales and exhales while in this posture.

Vertebrae and Values

Work with people who have the same values and expectations around outcomes. When you are out of alignment with your investors, employees and partners it’s like having a bad back that’s in need of a chiropractor. Every movement, whether big or small is painful because the vertebrae are moving in different directions and wasting energy.

Think about it for a second…misalignment is a serious waste of energy when getting from point A to point B. At every turn & blockage you are losing energy, it’s painful and you build up scar tissue.

If you are thinking long term and your partners are thinking short term then why would you ever agree on anything. Apply the same rule to how you treat your customers and vendors. It’ll save you so much time down the line.

Before you pitch an idea make sure you all agree on the definition of a successful outcome. If that’s out of whack then even the brightest idea won’t win. It’s a lot harder to get this right once you’ve agreed to work together, so spending more time upfront picking the right partners will save you a lot of brain damage over the long term.

Simple questions like this will help:

1. Investment horizon timing? (Long term or Short term). How do you define Long Term and Short Term?

2. Define success

3. Is this a one time partnership or do you want to work together again?

4. Define failure

 

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Escape hatches in an argument

“The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent, so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without too much apparent loss of face.” – Sidney J. Harris

This is a tip for for dealing with people who have more influence or power. I see this all the time when young and smart people get seduced into an argument with someone about a decisions or calls they’ve made. Sometimes it’s the right decision but the team isn’t on board with the idea because egos have been bruised or the more powerful person doesn’t want to concede to a junior person.

The argument becomes about the principle vs. getting everyone to agree to the plan….remember the latter is what you want to achieve. Instead of proving you are right, give the person an escape hatch to save face and agree with you.

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Maybe I’m not leaving… maybe I’m going home

“For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I’m suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving… maybe I’m going home.” — Vincent Freeman in 1997 Source: Gattaca

Good reminder that we are part of the whole. It makes it easier to relate to someone or something when you understand you relating to yourself!

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