When you are invited to do something in the future, ask yourself if you would say yes if you had to do it tomorrow? I’m talking about stuff like going to dinner, attending a meeting, speaking at an event, grabbing a coffee. If you are rearing to go, then say yes. If you are already dreading it, but begrudgingly say yes, then instead just say no. The immediacy question will clarify your thinking save you a lot of pain later.