The difference between the first time you do something and the next time is incredible. Muscle memory kicks in after a couple of times. Repetition increases confidence and creativity, and it’s easier to get into the concentration flow. With enough repetition you don’t think anymore you just do. In martial arts, this mind state is called Mushin. It comes from the term mushin no shin which means the mind without mind. This flow state is possible anywhere whether it’s hiking, exercising, working, playing. Rinse and repeat.
Advice
Blue fire belly breathing
Here’s a breathing tip
Sit in lotus pose or if it’s more comfortable then kneel on the floor. Relax your body from head to toe, and slowly start belly breathing. Inhale and exhale through your nose.
Imagine a small fire at the base of your belly. Every inhale of fresh oxygen fuels the flames. The exhale relaxes your tummy and lets the light expand. Inhaled fuel the fire and exhales loosen up the body. Grow the fire by inhaling until changes from yellow to orange to blue. The flame is so big now that it needs more space. Your exhales are turn blue as the heat escapes your body and fight more space around you. Keep feeding the fires and feeling you tummy becomes warmer and looser. Wind it down slowly with slower, and longer inhale. Expel the blue flame with your last exhalation. Sit and feel the warm afterglow permeate through your body.
Done.
My top 11 reads of 2017
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl – This is a book you can read over an over again. It’s about how we cannot avoid suffering, but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and live a full life.
True Grit by Charles Portis. It’s an old-school Western story. Read the book and then watch the Coen Brother’s movie after reading the book.
The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu. If you read Sci-Fi and enjoyed Dune, then you’ll enjoy this book. It’s the first Chinese Sci-fi book I’ve read and will definitely go back for more.
A Life Worth Breathing – Max Strom. It’s a practical life guide to applying yoga and meditation to real life.
Artemis – Andy Weir. Follow up to the Martian. Old fashioned action story set on our moon.
The Dude and the Zen Master – Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman. It’s a conversation between Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman on all things Zen. Maybe you’ve been too afraid to ask in the past or have been expected to know, this book covers all those kinds of questions.
Illusions by Richard Bach. I recommend reading this book every year. It’ll offer up something new every time. Gets better as I get older.
FDR by Jean Edward Smith – This is a reminder that politics has always been a contact sport in the United States. It’ll give you hope in 2018. The past is prologue.
Season of the Witch by David Talbot – Give this book to anyone who complains that San Francisco has changed too much over the last decade. The book explains how the only constant in San Francisco is that it’s changing and that’s what makes it so great.
Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry – Probably the best Western I’ve read. Epic.
Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography by Rob Lowe.Rob Lowe talks about growing up in Hollywood and his career. Cool stories about the West Wing and all the other kids he grew up with who went on to becomes excellent actors.
Change your self
People say they want to change things, but what they mean is that they want things to change.
If you want to learn something new, then start.
Want to learn to surf? Drive to the beach, borrow a wetsuit and a surfboard, and get wet. On some days you’ll get out of the water, and your hands will be so cold that you won’t be able to unzip your suit or hold your keys. Everyone sitting on their boards just beyond the shore break did the same thing at some point. You won’t learn by watching Instagram videos of big wave surfing. The answer is in the water.
Want to learn to write? Start writing, publish something every day. Get used to feedback, good and bad. The stuff will only start to resonate when you turn up in your writing. People can spot authenticity a mile away, and they’ll connect with you through your book.
Don’t take the act of starting something for granted. Most people give up before they even begin. If you’ve started and come back the next day, then you are in the one percent already.
If you want to change something, then you’ve got to change yourself.
Cui bono
Cassius Longinus’s “Cui bono?” is the question to ask whenever you are looking to explain head-scratching decisions you don’t understand or why people act in a certain way. It’s a useful tool for reading the news or helping to arbitrate at work or at home.
Here is an extract from a book about Cicero’s advice on oratory:
“Cicero earlier in the speech had invoked the famous legal maxim of Cassius Longinus, Cui bono (“To whose advantage?” or “Who stood to gain?”), a question invoked still today in court when attempting to establish the probability of motive.”
Here’s the context for what Cicero said in his address to a jury:
“Up to this point, gentlemen of the jury, I see that all the evidence points in one direction—that for Milo, it was actually advantageous for Clodius to continue to live, while for Clodius, the death of Milo was the realization of everything that he had so earnestly desired; that Clodius’s hatred toward Milo was extremely bitter, while Milo harbored no hatred at all;” – Cicero
Follow the money and you normally find out who stood to gain.
Fighting the old and building the new
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”- Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives
Don’t hang on too long. Loyalty is an admirable character trait, but sometimes people confuse the fear of letting go with devotion. It shouldn’t feel like a fight every day. Choose to work on things that bring you joy and energize you. Choose to hang out with people who reciprocate giving and make you laugh.
It’s sad when I hear people describe their day as ‘the daily struggle,’ ‘it could be better,’ ‘not bad, I can’t complain,’ ‘it’s a slog.’
Wake up and listen to yourself. Stop framing your life as a daily grind or a Cold War with some kind of enemy.
Can you excel at something new, do you have what it takes, will be good enough? These are questions everyone asks when they start new jobs, new companies or meet new people. Once you overcome the fear of building new things, then you’ll be able to tap into all the energy you’ve been using to fight the old.
Lurking, posting and fasting
Stop lurking on social media. Lurking is the same as consuming content. You are still ‘using’ even if you aren’t posting. Just because you don’t post doesn’t mean you aren’t being sucked in and manipulated with an endorphin hit. I’ll bet that most people who say they don’t use Facebook actually spend the same amount of time as everyone else scrolling through photos.
Give yourself a break for maintenance and downtime. It’s like those jet planes that fly from New York to London every night. They land in London, passengers get off, the plane is cleaned, refueled, and the new crew arrives. Over time the components wear out and need to be maintained, so it’s taken out of circulation, rested and fixed up.
Do the same thing for your brain with social media. Turn it off for a day or a week. See how you feel after a digital fast. You might not come back and that’s okay.
When the going gets tough
Take one day at a time. The sun always comes up the next day.
You can only connect the dots looking backward. There will be time for retrospectives later. Now is the time for action.
Over-communicate, don’t bottle it up. Sometimes verbalizing a fear is like slaying the imaginary dragon. Other people will also give you perspective and shared experiences.
Ask yourself how you will feel about this two years from now. It’ll put things in perspective.
Separate what’s out of your control but don’t ignore it.
Worry and stress about things that are certain. Don’t spend energy on worrying.
Ask for help and share the load. Family, friends, co-workers will surprise you.
Stick to your principles and maintain integrity. People will know, and more importantly, you’ll know that when the pressure was on, you dared to be true to yourself.
Take a few deep breaths and check out for a bit. Try to get some sleep and exercise. Sleep and exercise compounds and is a magic stress reliever.
Stay off the coffee and booze.
Keep moving forward and don’t put your head in the sand.
It could be worse.
Kick the stimulants and trust your body again
Kick the stimulants, and you’ll be able to listen to and trust your body again.
Stimulants like caffeine or sugar mute 🤐 your bodies internal communication network. It’s like driving a car on a long trip with a faulty temperature or fuel gauge. The radiator may be leaking water, but your temperature gauge tells you that everything is A-Okay. So you keep driving until you blow a gasket, and have a costly repair on your hands. It’s the same for your body.
When you cut out the synthetic uppers like caffeine, the body’s fatigue warning lights aren’t muted anymore, and it quickly becomes apparent to you when you need to rest and recuperate.
Over time you’ll start to trust your body again.
Energy and happiness boost tip
Instead of spending your energy trying to get away from your current situation or life, take a moment to acknowledge how fortunate you are for what you have right now. That shift in thinking will redirect your energy to building on your current situation.
Stop dreaming about some nonexistent life and start figuring out and appreciate the life you’ve got. Today is a perfect time to feel happy.
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