Community

Compassion in action

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Attaining enlightenment should not end your spiritual quest. The Buddhist saying goes that when you reach enlightenment then go to the marketplace and serve the people. What you shouldn’t do is preach to people how enlightened you are or sit on a hilltop and meditate. How is isolating yourself going to spread the light?

Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco embodies compassion in action. In their own words, it’s “a radically inclusive, just and loving community mobilized to alleviate suffering and break the cycles of poverty and marginalization.” Everyone is welcome, and they don’t judge anybody. They feed the homeless, rehabilitate people who have been discarded by society and create a loving and welcoming refuge. They preach through their actions and lead by example. That is compassion in action.

The whole point of enlightenment is to spread the light to others. The joy of service is in the dirt of everyday living. It’ll test you and push you even further, but isn’t that the point?

James 2:14-26

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food,and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

Wastin’ time

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The older you get, the more you value time. How much would you pay to buy back a couple of years when you are in your sixties? Time has less currency to a 25-year-old than a 60-year-old.

The wealthier you become, the more you value simplicity and flexibility. Real wealth isn’t about accumulating stuff, it’s about controlling your time. The freedom to decide how to spend your time each day is priceless. When you are young, you think you are invincible and have all the time in the world. Older, wiser souls value every day and cherish them because they know that buying back time isn’t an option.

As Bill Clinton likes to say, we all get to the point where we have more yesterdays than tomorrows.

I think Otis Redding tapped into this with (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay

Sittin’ in the mornin’ sun
I’ll be sittin’ when the evenin’ come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch ’em roll away again, yeah

I’m sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I’m just sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Wastin’ time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the ‘Frisco bay
Cause I’ve had nothing to live for
And look like nothin’s gonna come my way

So I’m just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I’m sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Wastin’ time

Look like nothing’s gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can’t do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I’ll remain the same, yes

Sittin’ here resting my bones
And this loneliness won’t leave me alone
It’s two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I’m just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Wastin’ time

Written by Steve Cropper, Otis Redding • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

Urban communities will be family

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If you want to make new friends or nurture existing relationships, then find shared interests. Shared interests create shared experiences and shared memories. Find communities that work and play together.

Suburban America is compartmentalized into McMansions, high fences, and car friendly neighborhoods. Suburban America is not a healthy garden to grow a community. People have everything they want at their fingertips but are still isolated and lonely. When last did you have a conversation with your neighbors or fellow tenants?

The good news is that concentrated urbanization is trending and housing legislation is adapting. Sadly tech hubs like San Francisco have been slow to adjust and will see an exodus of young people and families looking for more affordable living arrangements and better public services.

Individually owned cars will be a legacy mode of transporting and will be surpassed by communal ownership and various forms of public transport. Public transportation like trains is a leading indicator of growth in new companies. More trains in cities equate to more successful startups. Sci-fi novels are pretty good at telling the future, and most of them envisage dense cityscapes, and that is full of skyscrapers.

We see the same trend in farming. We will do more with less space as people urbanized. The Netherlands is the world’s second-largest exporter of food as measured by value, second only to the US, which has 270 times its landmass.

Healthy communities depend on each other, are compassionate and look out for their neighbors. More and more people will migrate to these megacities and sadly away from family. The community will become their family over time…any immigrant knows this from personal experience. Compartmentalized America is in for a nasty surprise as these trends start to accelerate. Adapt now and start exercising your community muscle.

Flee from them

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If you have a gambling problem, then don’t go to Las Vegas even if the best show in the world is playing on the strip.

If you can’t say no to that last drink, then stay away from bars.

If you are addicted to nicotine, then don’t hang out in the smoking lounge.

If you are trying to kick caffeine, then stay away from coffee shops.

If you are addicted to the endorphin kick from social media, then delete the apps like Facebook or Instagram that suck you in. Turn off push notifications and opt out of the email. There are brilliant people at these companies whose sole job, compensation and bonuses are centered on getting you to spend more time scrolling through the feed. Sadly a lot of them could be applying that same expertise to nobler causes, but money talks and principles walk out the door.

If there are people you follow on Twitter who spew negativity, hate, and decisiveness and in the process make you feel pretty shitty then unfollow them.

Don’t try to control these vices; you need to flee from them. Keep away from the hooks, and you won’t get sucked in. Addictive vices are seductive, so to counter the gravitational pull you have to engineer your life and habits to avoid them. Associate with people that reinforce good habits and keep you on track. Sometimes the best way to beat something is to run away.

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

When the going gets tough

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Take one day at a time. The sun always comes up the next day.

You can only connect the dots looking backward. There will be time for retrospectives later. Now is the time for action.

Over-communicate, don’t bottle it up. Sometimes verbalizing a fear is like slaying the imaginary dragon. Other people will also give you perspective and shared experiences.

Ask yourself how you will feel about this two years from now. It’ll put things in perspective.

Separate what’s out of your control but don’t ignore it.

Worry and stress about things that are certain. Don’t spend energy on worrying.

Ask for help and share the load. Family, friends, co-workers will surprise you.

Stick to your principles and maintain integrity. People will know, and more importantly, you’ll know that when the pressure was on, you dared to be true to yourself.

Take a few deep breaths and check out for a bit. Try to get some sleep and exercise. Sleep and exercise compounds and is a magic stress reliever.

Stay off the coffee and booze.

Keep moving forward and don’t put your head in the sand.

It could be worse.

Seven habits of highly productive giving

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Here’s a useful HBR piece co-authored by Adam Grant and Reb Rebele on how to beat generosity burnout. The theme throughout the article is that you need to be a warrior advocate for yourself if you are going to sustainably share your time, energy and experience.

I grabbed these 7 points from the article on how to be a productive giver.

7 Habits of Highly Productive Giving
  1. Prioritize the help requests that come your way — say yes when it matters most and no when you need to.
  2. Give in ways that play to your interests and strengths to preserve your energy and provide greater value.
  3. Distribute the giving load more evenly — refer requests to others when you don’t have the time or skills, and be careful not to reinforce gender biases about who helps and how.
  4. Secure your oxygen mask first — you’ll help others more effectively if you don’t neglect your own needs.
  5. Amplify your impact by looking for ways to help multiple people with a single act of generosity.
  6. Chunk your giving into dedicated days or blocks of time rather than sprinkling it throughout the week. You’ll be more effective — and more focused.
  7. Learn to spot takers, and steer clear of them. They’re a drain on your energy, not to mention a performance hazard.

Enjoy the article.

Turn up

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Sometimes in life, you gotta turn up. By turn up, I don’t mean sending thoughts and prayers, flowers or money. I mean physically turn up and be there. Sometimes it’s to celebrate or grieve, sometimes it’s pre-emptive, and sometimes it’s to volunteer. I saw a lot if this happening during the Sonoma fire relief and support. Nurses, doctors, firefighters, chefs, therapists all turned up and offered a hand to people who had lost everything. At one stage people were being turned away before there were too many people to help.

When in doubt – be there. Most of the time you’ll regret not going. But you’ll never regret being there.

Ten dinner cooking tips

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Buy a nonstick saucepan. Replace it every year. It doesn’t have to be made of kryptonite or unobtainium. A new pan washes easily and makes cooking a pleasure. Throw out the old pan and rotate.

Wash the pan once it’s cooled down. Washing the pan when it’s hot will wear away the nonstick stuff.

Eat leftovers. They last longer than you think. Get tastier over time and make one meal into three

Use ghee over butter or oil. It doesn’t smoke like oil and adds flavor.

If you can lean, then you can clean

Vegetarian dishes are easier to clean up than meat dishes. The ingredients last longer in the fridge.

There’s nothing a fried egg or avocado won’t solve. Just plop it on t with a bit of salt and pepper. Same for heirloom tomatoes 🍅

Undercooking your meat is okay. Salmonella is a thing, but most meat should be on the rare side.

If you have the time, cook food on medium heat versus incinerating it on high. It’ll take longer, but it’ll be juicer and more flavorsome.

Eat early. It’ll give you more time to digest your food and you’ll sleep better.

The experience of right now

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We only experience right now as Emily Dickinson explains below:

Forever — is composed of Nows
by Emily Dickinson

Forever — is composed of Nows —
‘Tis not a different time —
Except for Infiniteness —
And Latitude of Home —

From this — experienced Here —
Remove the Dates — to These —
Let Months dissolve in further Months —
And Years — exhale in Years —

Without Debate — or Pause —
Or Celebrated Days —
No different Our Years would be
From Anno Domini’s —